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Budding Literary Careers

January 3, 2011

I guess America’s literary talent scouts have been busy!

I just heard that three cast members of MTV’s  Jersey Shore have  each landed a book  contract.  They are being paid to write books. Jenni (JWoww) Farley’s topic  will be advice on romantic relationships . The working title in The Rules According to JWoww.   Mike, AKA “The Situation” is the second budding author, and the third is–you’ll never guess—Snooki herself! The one and only! Maybe in her book she’ll elaborate on why rinsing clothes out in a sink made her  “feel like a pilgrim in the twenties.”

The bizarre (and badly defeated)  Delaware candidate for the US Senate,  Christine (“I am not a witch”) O’Donnell also now has a contract to write a book.  She’s the one famous for saying simply, “I’m you!” when asked about her political beliefs and priorities.  In which case, I conclude there’s no point in reading  her book since I already talk to myself.  I promise not to do more than mention the solipsistic and narcissistic assumptions  she revealed in her “I’m you” presumption. No,  lady, you are not me.  Other people have an independent existence and are not simply projections of your self-absorbed fantasies. She and Sarah Palin both impress me as very childish, like resentful, unhappy,  cranky but entitled children.

And Sarah Palin’s second book is out. Can anyone seriously believe Sarah Palin actually wrote either of the books that bear her name as  “author”?  That is hilarious! Obviously they were written by others for her. Unless she’s reading a prepared speech written for her by someone els,  the corporate-funded, mult-millionaire pseudo-populist can’t complete a sentence or a thought without contradicting herself.  How could she write a book?  She couldn’t. She didn’t.  Her books, like her public persona, is a corporate product, carefully packaged and slickly marketed.

I think I’ll be reading other authors instead of these five new ones in 2011.

It never ceases to amaze me how many patently unreal things are  soberly reported and discussed as if they were real.

For the record, I’d vote for Snooki before I’d vote for Sarah Palin.  She’s far less mean-spirited and cynical.



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