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2010 Humor To Close Out The Year

December 31, 2010

[I’s kinda cheating, I know, to repost an anonymous, humorous email that landed in my box, but we can all–always–use more humor, so here it is]

THE  RECESSION  HITS  EVERYBODY:

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

CEOs are now playing miniature golf.

Exxon Mobil had  to lay off 25 congressmen.

British Petroleum, also facing reverses, had to lay off 30 senators.

A stripper was killed when her appreciative  audience showered her with a barrage of pennies while she danced.

If your bank returns your checked marked “Insufficient Funds,”  you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.

McDonald’s is now advertising the 1/4 ouncer.

Angelina Jolie  adopted a child from America.

Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn’t afford to pay for it, so they are re-possessing her!

A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking in to Mexico.

A picture is now worth only 200 words.

When  Bill & Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates.

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my disappearing savings,  unemployment running out, Social Security &  Medicare probably being slashed,  my retirement fund evaporating, etc., that I called the Suicide Hotline. I got put on hold, then transferred to a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I   could drive a truck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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